I seriously thought it was going to end me. As is the case for most people who meet their demise unexpectedly, it all started like any regular day with no warning of what was about to happen. I had gotten some easy chores out of the way, did some exercise, and then had my late breakfast. Then came the time to take my daily supplements.
I took out the pills out of the pill box and laid them on the table as I poured myself a full glass of water. I needed to take 7 pills, 4 of which are ginormous, at least by my standards. And because time is precious and I just wanted it over and done with, and also because I didn't want to drink more water than I'd have to, I decided to swallow the two biggest pills together.
As soon as I gulped the two with a bit of water, I immediately felt something had gone terribly wrong. I felt the tablets stuck in my throat, as if they had gone down horizontally. I began to panic, with grim thoughts coursing through my imagination as I simultaneously gripped my full glass of water and started drinking furiously...
"Oh my God, I'm gonna die! I'm choking and this is not how I imagined it will all end. Shouldn't it be more dramatic, more meaningful, less stupid??"
"Does my husband know how to do the Heimlich maneuver? If not, can I do it on myself against this countertop?"
"Is this how it all ends, me choking on my vitamins? Can there be a more ironic death? How stupid is this going to look on my obituary?!"
My husband had just left the table and didn't even notice something was wrong until he turned around and saw water dribbling down my chin. I didn't care anymore, my instinct was just to keep drinking as fast as I could. I managed to wave my hand at him as if to say 'stop' and then mumbled, "Wait, don't go, I might be choking."
I ran to the sink and kept drinking more water. At some point, my husband emphatically said, "Swallow hard!" and I hurriedly complied. After about three full glasses, I finally felt the pills had 'unstuck' themselves, and I'm sure had partially dissolved from all the water I had drunk.
I let out a sigh of relief and assured my husband I was going to be okay. Then I immediately made a pact with myself never to swallow more than one huge pill at a time.
I also wondered if I'll keep having more of these embarrassing 'almost fatal' experiences like this one, or that bike accident in CO in 2016. I hope not. It's beginning to be more annoying than entertaining.
But if there's really anything I've learned from these experiences—other than chewables being the safer bet—it's that up until the end, I exhibited both vanity and pride as I helplessly desired to dictate how death should take me. I suspect this tendency is more common among us humans than most of us would care to admit.