Wednesday, March 20, 2013

My Door Bell Phobia

We've all seen it --- those home decor photos showcasing rooms with light-colored, thin curtains  that make the rooms look so fresh and airy.  And Pinterest makes it even more attractive by showing the same rooms and telling you how achievable those window coverings are because you can create them yourself for a ridiculously low price! Well, much as those rooms make me want to relax and just sit and put my feet up, the truth is that if I had such window covers, relaxing and putting my feet up aren't really my best options.  

If you're anything like me, you probably prefer being left alone especially when you're inside your house.  This means no unannounced appearances (unless you're on my 'Most Wanted & Loved' list and trust me this list is short), and most definitely no door-to-door solicitation of any kind, whether you're selling lawn service or your religious and political beliefs.  If life is like a 'stage', a 'performance', then being home, to me, is being in my private backstage.  It's where I want to just be myself and carry on with what I need to do without caring about how I do it and how I look. 

I assure you that there's a well thought-out reason behind my choosing darker drapes for our home, or at least ones that have two layers of fabric to compensate for their being light-colored.  First, I absolutely don't spend my days all dressed up for public viewing.  I could stay in my pj's the whole day so this makes it embarrassing for me when someone suddenly rings our door bell and I am forced to answer. There have also been times when I just completely froze and stayed absolutely silent upon hearing the door bell because there was just no chance in hell I could answer the door.  Why?  Well, because other than being in some shabby house clothing, I also haven't had time to put on my bra!  And since I don't have exhibitionist tendencies, I just completely ignored whoever it was and waited until I was sure the person was gone before I moved a muscle.  

My clothing isn't the only issue here, by the way.  I wish I could tell you that I look exactly like my Facebook profile picture 24/7, all clean and sparkly.  But I really don't.  (Is there anyone who does?)  

Instead, 80% of the time, (and that's a conservative ballpark estimate), you're most likely to see me like this... 

Give me 'A' for effort for giving you the best angle to showcase all my flyaways. I must apologize for the poor lighting that it didn't highlight the happy, light green shade of my favorite and ever-reliable fuzzy robe.  You should thank me that I didn't bother to show a full body shot.  I'm afraid of getting sued for blinding my readers with too many hideous images.  I save that kind of trauma for those who insist on ringing our doorbell and disturbing my hibernation.  

I hope this serves as a fair warning to those who are fond of making unannounced visits, especially those unwanted sales people and evangelists who knock on doors to tell me that the end is near.  Bother me one more time and YOUR end will BE HERE. 

So who else hates their door bells the way I do?  Do you get all dressed up and stay presentable when you're spending time at home?   

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