Thursday, December 6, 2012

It's All Santa's Fault!

I can feel the acid building up in my stomach, my face undeniably mortified as I stared intently at the screen.  My head was full of expletives but at the same time I felt guilty for tainting what should be a happy experience.  So instead of cussing, I just went for a very impassioned, 'Are you kidding me??', trying to resist the temptation of inserting the F-word somewhere in there.

Who would've thought online holiday shopping could get this dramatic?  You see, my son got done with his 'Santa gift list' about a week ago and so today I finally got around to doing my research online.  I went to multiple sites hoping I'd be able to compare prices but horror of horrors, I found that the toy he's dying to have is only available on  The price is not oppressive at all so I was okay with ordering it.  What choice did I really have, right? But that's not the upsetting part.  What horrified me was that, after placing my order, I found that, since the said toy would be coming from some European country, there was no option for express delivery and that the expected date of arrival for my package will be between December 27 and January 24!!

Normally, I'd be cool about this.  After all, it's just a gift and this would be a good opportunity to teach a 5-year old that patience is a virtue, right?

Not really.  It would've been simple if this freakin' gift were not supposedly coming from the North Pole, assembled by elves, and finally delivered through the chimney by a magical man!

So now there's the obvious question.  What elaborate lie should I tell my son to explain Santa's failure to deliver his gift on time?

Fabrication 1: 
Santa got sick and must be running a little late.

Fabrication 2:
Santa must be having some challenges with his navigation since we moved from IL to TN.  

Fabrication 3: 
Give him a different toy initially and then say that Santa left a note saying that he's still on the 'watch list'.  If he proves to be a good boy even after Christmas, he'll be getting another delivery.

Fabrication 4:
Give him a different toy initially and say that Santa left a note saying he wants him to learn about Patience.  (He'll of course get the gift when Mr. UPS drops it off).

Option 5:
Instead of an elaborate lie, I'd take this as the opportunity to tell him that Santa is not real.  Brutal and quick, but simple and honest.  Is 5 too young?  What do you think? 

You are more than welcome to either vote for your favorite option above, or suggest more creative excuses for this panicked mother.  I'd appreciate it!  Oh and please wish me luck!