Friday, October 26, 2012

When Mary Poppins Lost Her Head

If you live in the US, chances are you've seen this Liberty Mutual 'Humans' television advertisement.  It's hilarious, yes.  But since the very first time I saw it, it has always made me feel uncomfortable and I think more than anything, it's because I've always felt that one of those scenarios could easily happen to anyone...including me.  

Well, it has happened and I might as well come clean to everyone.  It's not as ridiculous as the cases shown in the commercial, but I assure you, it's nonetheless careless to say the least. 

First of all, it's been three weeks since 'the incident' and I'll explain later why it took me this long to confess.  Right now, I'll get on with it and just say what 'human' thing I managed to cross out of my 'for-once-be-stupid-bucket list'....

I drove my car one morning with my umbrella sitting on top of the trunk.  Yes, it was folded, which is why I didn't notice it, and just so you know, it's one of those big, long umbrellas with the traditional looking J-shaped handle. Anyway, I was rushing one morning to drive my son to school since he had missed the bus.  It was crazy, we were rushing, I was making sure he had his things with him, that he was buckled safely, blah, blah, blah, that it totally slipped my mind that I had left that d*mn umbrella to dry on top of the trunk the previous afternoon.  What drives me crazy is the fact that the moment I placed it on top of the car, I even thought to myself, "God forbid I forget about this and just drive out".  I should've followed my hunch that that's exactly what would happen, but no.....I had to follow it up with a lie...."Nah...I'm too smart for that to happen!"

So naturally, I lost said beloved umbrella.  I should've known that thud I heard when I drove over a bump somewhere not too far from our house was something other than just the junk inside my car.  I drove my son to school, went to the grocery, and then drove back, but it was not until that same afternoon, seven hours later to be exact, when I fully realized what stupidity I had done.

I wish I could end this story here, but believe it or not there's more.  The day after I lost my umbrella, I found this message on the Facebook page of our subdivision.  Let's just call the concerned resident "Claire" :

Claire:  "I found an umbrella in the middle of (street 1) and (street 2) this morning. It is plaid and has the name Manuel on it. Let me know if u know who it belongs to:) "

Suffice it to say that I was horrified.  I stared at the message for a good 10 minutes and debated whether or not I should respond.  I didn't want to respond and own up to my stupidity by having to explain how the hell my umbrella landed in the middle of the road like that.  However I wondered just how many other 'Manuels' there are in the subdivision, and if I could really get away with ignoring and denying it.  The answers are ZERO and NO (and yes I'm sure because this is the South and 'diversity' is not really a buzz word down here....Let's just leave it at that...).  So I felt I had no other choice but to respond with as much dignity and poise as I could.

Me:  "That would be me, Claire. Thanks for picking it up, long story. Would you let me know how I can claim it? 

That same evening, I received a response from Claire saying that I should send her a private message via Facebook since she tried it and for some reason couldn't send me one.  So I sent her a message so she could respond back and give me her address or instructions as to how I could meet up with her to claim my umbrella.

It was October 4 when I first sent Claire a private message.  I did not get a response.

Then I thought maybe life got in the way or whatever, and that I certainly shouldn't expect anyone to be as active as I am online.  So on October 16th, I sent yet another private message PLUS a posting on the FB wall in case the private message still didn't go through.  It's now October 26 and I still haven't gotten any response whatsoever.

To add (further) insult to injury, I see that Claire's posting has now been viewed by 92 residents.  Can you imagine that?!  I've sufficiently entertained  and possibly piqued the curiosity and imagination of close to a hundred people. Trust me.  There are days when I just want to wear a placard around my neck stating, 'Yes I'm the idiot who lost her umbrella, and yes I love that it's plaid!  Now can I have it back please???'

If you're wondering what I plan on doing next, the answer is 'Nothing'.  I think I've done enough, said enough, admitted enough.  If Claire or any of the other residents happen to come across this blog post, then congratulations. Now you have the whole picture and should consider this a privilege.  I really don't know what happened to Claire and to my umbrella, and I'm doing my best not to have any ill thoughts about it.  If for some reason she changed her mind and opted to keep it, I really can't blame her.  It's a good thing to have and I know I have awesome taste.  If they don't see this blog post (and I honestly hope they don't) they will all just die wondering how that adorable umbrella magically appeared in the middle of the street.  Think all you want, I really don't care.  I know I'm still pretty awesome.