When my son was between 2 and 3 years of age, his palate impressed me and this was something I was so grateful for. He loved cheeses just like his Mommy. His favorite sandwich was havarti cheese with basil. He also did not complain and even asked for more when during breakfast, I would let him have a bite of my toast with my favorite Boursin cheese with garlic and fine herbs. I thought it would turn him off considering how strong the flavors are (especially for a toddler) but he enjoyed it and it made me proud. He also ate eggs and scrambled and hardboiled were his favorites. So, pretty much he ate most anything except of course those with strong non-kid friendly flavors. I would’ve loved for him to love cilantro but I’m trying to keep my expectations realistic. Still, generally, feeding him then was quite easy.
Something happened at some point because by the time he turned 4, he wouldn’t touch cheese and doesn’t want to have anything to do with anything that has cheese in it…no cheese sandwich, no mac‘n’cheese, no pizza, no cheeseburger. He also refuses to eat eggs regardless of the way it’s cooked and it’s driving me insane! It frustrates and disappoints me because I really thought feeding him would be even easier as he ages; that as his palate matures, I would be able to train him more and introduce more complex flavors. Maybe I expected too much but the fact remains that I don’t understand how he changed just like that, making it doubly hard to feed him!
And that’s when it hit me. To put it in simple terms, what happened was that he changed his mind. That’s all. And the reason it upsets me, the main reason I find myself thrust into ‘pissosity’ zone when I now feed him and he says ‘no’, is because it’s an inconvenience. His change of mind (or heart, or palate) is inconvenient for me. I’m getting upset because I’m forced to find other things to feed him and be more creative with feeding him. He’s not always picky and he consumes different things from the major food groups. Medically, he is ‘healthy’ and thriving. So really my getting upset is because he is not behaving the way I want him to and as a result, I am left with nothing but to adjust.
In relationships, people are allowed to change their minds. They can change their habits, preferences, and even the way they feel about us. One day we are loved, the next day it's all over. The timing may be all wrong for us, may be inconvenient, but they are entitled to that. We don’t know when, how, or if it will ever happen, when a change of heart will strike. So instead of worrying about others changing their minds, the real focus should be on ourselves and how we will conduct our lives amidst all these changes, actual or potential. In truth, we can really only worry about our selves because it makes no sense worrying about anything that you have no control over.