Friday, December 2, 2011

Fortune Friday 12.2.11: When It's Wise To Walk Away


My body is completely, and I mean COMPLETELY, sore today.  My joints and muscles ache to the point where taking deep breaths hurt, let alone climbing the stairs.  Thanks to the kickboxing class I attended yesterday with my BFF, I am experiencing physical pain that makes me wish I had access to an epidural drip right now.  

It was a one-hour class and though the moves were not that new to me anymore given that I have done Tae Bo before, admittedly I have never done it nor any other cardio exercise for that matter for one straight hour in my entire life!  Even when I run on the treadmill during my 30-minute sessions, I NEVER run the whole 30 minutes, so yes, it was a shock for me and every single muscle in my body.  To punch and then kick side to side, then front and back, topped off with multiple jumping jacks is not my idea of how to best spend my last moments on earth. Because really, that's what I thought was happening.  I swear at some point I thought I was going to pass out and die.  Just 30 minutes into the session, I began to have visions of me being wheeled out of the room by paramedics. To be honest, the only thing that kept me from walking out of there was pure pride.  I knew how embarrassing it would've felt to give up just like that even though I felt like I was dying.

Before you congratulate me though, let me stop you right there and admit that right after the class, I told my BFF that I'm not sure if I would try it again and highlighted to her my long-time realization that I am, after all, a quitter. My natural tendency has always been to quit when I feel that I can't do so well, when I can't excel at something. It's probably the perfectionist side of me and no, I'm not proud of it.  That, and I'm not so certain I won't pass out next time should I decide to attend the class again.  

So why am I telling you all this now when my fortune cookie wants me to be honest about my philosophy on love?

It's because I realized that love is the one thing I seem to be incapable of quitting from.  Despite all pain and even embarrassment, I tend to go on and on...and on...for as long as I feel there is more to give.  I remember when my sister gave her speech during our wedding reception, she said that when I love, there is never such a thing as 'half-way'.    But just as some of you were probably thinking that overdoing exercise is never a wise or safe thing to do, I know that it's the same with love...that you need to know when it's wise to quit.  Recently, a popular young actress in the Philippines broke up with her boyfriend, also a popular actor.  And though her explanation of their break-up was extremely cryptic (although most people have already assumed that it's because said actor is gay), she left viewers with one clear advice.  She said (in Filipino), "Always leave something for yourself".  Learning this lesson, I believe, makes her heartbreak all worth it.

My philosophy on love is this...That to love is to give all that you have to give (not necessarily all that you are), for as long as it is healthy for both people.  Boundaries are important so you know what you can and cannot give.  Give love only to someone who can accept love and appreciates its power.  Finally, respect what you feel, what you sense.  You always know when it's no longer safe for you to proceed.  Pay attention and have the humility and wisdom to know that sometimes, quitting is not necessarily failure. It could mean moving on to somewhere you can love and be loved better.