A few days ago, a blogger friend of mine sent me an invitation for a month-long blog challenge and I was both surprised and honored (after being petrified, that is). It was great that she thought of me and knowing her and how seriously she treats her writing, I felt that this was not just another aimless challenge for participants. Well, this invitation actually caused something utterly shocking. I said yes and clicked on that ‘JOIN’ button. Yes, I decided to take on the challenge and though I am four days late, I figured it would not hurt to just do my best to keep up from this day forward.
So what was so shocking about me saying yes, you might ask. Well, if you knew me, you’d understand. You would know that one serious ailment I suffer from is having an overactive excuse muscle. I make excuses to not put myself out there. I make excuses so I can just stay put within my comfort zone. I make excuses so I don’t even have to try, ergo avoid any sort of sense of failure. And as with any muscle, the more you use and flex it, the more developed it becomes. It becomes effortless in time and simply becomes an automatic response.
I’m fine where I am. I don’t need change. I’m scared of change. Let me stick to my routine so I don’t mess anything up. Oh I’ll be very busy this month. We have a trip coming and it will be impossible to post and make time for writing. Where will I get ideas? I’m sure I’ll run out of ideas and I’ll just fail at this. I don’t want to be someone who just posts garbage but I’m not sure I can commit to posting quality essays everyday for a month! That’s insane! I can’t do this! Who can do this? I have a life and a family to attend to, you know!!!!
That was just approximately two minutes in my frazzled head and that was probably just a percentage of the countless excuses I actually came up with. Fortunately, after about maybe 20 minutes more and the muscle finally got tired, there was enough energy left for my ‘why not?’ daring muscle and it finally kicked in.
Why not? What the heck! Let’s do this and see where it goes! How bad can it be? See how much you can do, how well you can do! Challenge yourself. Just give it a shot. It won’t hurt to try or even fail. It’ll be a good exercise and new experience for you. You might be surprised at what you could learn. Breathe and stop being so scared. You can NEVER plan for everything anyway, EVER, so just do it now. If not now, when? When will you ever say you’ll have enough time and energy? Say YES for a change and take the plunge!
As soon as I said YES, as soon as I allowed myself to imagine the possibilities, I felt energy. Yes, there is still fear and worries of not being able to write on some days. But that is the essence of the challenge…to try to just dive in, take a free fall and believe that something will come to you and that you can live through it. It’s all about committing and just saying yes and with this simple invitation to a blog challenge, I truly realized how afraid I have been; how wrapped up in self-sabotaging thoughts I am; and how much of a commitment-phobe I’ve become to an extent. It seems I’d been so afraid of committing to anything that would require my focus and time because I always think it’s no longer mine to give. What if something comes up at home? What if I need to do something for my son and husband? And yes, something will surely come up but it will be a decision for me to make and it will be my time to give. I still have Me and I need to give time for myself as well…time to explore what I can really do, what I love to do and where this new-found passion for writing will take me.
The challenge is on and with a simple thought of YES and a simple click on JOIN, I felt myself ignore a road block…something I myself create over and over, and now that I’ve been able to ignore one, who’s to say I can’t do it again?
Wish me luck!