In love, is intensity or permanence more important? This is a question from Dr. Gregory Stock’s Book of Questions and my friends and I tried discussing this once during a girls’ night in (GNI). I thought about this question again as I panted on the treadmill (which you all know about now after last Tuesday's post). Intensity or endurance?...keep running fast or keep walking for a longer period of time? During the GNI, almost unanimously, the preference was for ‘permanence’. Almost. My gut answer was intensity. I am a Scorpio after all! However, after some thought, debate and rationalization, I conceded and accepted permanence as more important. After all, the question refers to importance and not which one will bring you the utmost satisfaction, doesn't it?
As with everything in this life, balance is necessary. I know this is a a cop out but hear me out for now. Though it may be true that nothing can be intense one hundred percent of the time, it is not necessarily fair to assume that 'permanence' does not include bouts of passion and depth. Just as with any exercise routine to be fully effective, you have to alternate between the intense and the slow / manageable. You can't just walk the whole time. You have to vary your speed and incline and keep on challenging your self. Relationships aren't that much different really. You need both passion as well as sustainability. You have to try to preserve some mystery without exhausting your partner to the limit. And most important of all, at least for me, there has to be depth, in feelings, thoughts, connections. These, to me, translate to real intimacy.
Ideals and cop out answers aside, let me now assume that the terms intensity and permanence are used here as mutually exclusive. Will you choose a relationship that is intense but will not last long, OR, something that will last forever sans intensity or passion? I would still choose as a true Scorpio. I want to drown in the depths of passion, bleed with yearnings and be consumed to ashes. What good would 'forever' be to me if it will only imprison me in a life of hunger? Some would say that this is not a very practical choice but is love really meant to be practical? I want to feel desire and be desired, get lost in his eyes, rendered powerless by his words, his voice. I want to be intoxicated with his taste and scent, feel soulfully entwined and be flung into a world tainted with Shakespeare and Beethoven. I want it all. For me, true love is meant to be tasted this way...even for just a brief moment.