Friday, July 9, 2010

Fortune Friday 7.9.10: Connections

“No job is so simple that it cannot be done wrong.”

I've always had issues with my own blogging.  I still do, actually.  Sometimes, I find myself questioning its value and trying very hard to justify the hours I spend thinking about topics, figuring how my words can accurately represent my thoughts and all my angsts.  The guilt level goes off the charts especially when I get consumed with the technical aspects such as layout, page design, etc.  I keep worrying, "Am I not just wasting our family's resources by continuing to do this?  I'm not really making money from all this and yet I put in so much time and effort into it.  It's also not as if I have a significant amount of readers / followers compared to other blog sites that attest to the level of success of my site."

For some of us, it has become all too easy to put ourselves down, to believe with so much resolve that what we do does not count and that it is not as important as what others do, think or say.  But every time we think that, we move farther away from the truth.  Because the truth is, there is no act too insignificant, too small, that it cannot produce any consequence.  Everything we engage in, whether consciously or not, produce effects, though they may not always be obvious to us, nor instantaneous.  Everything has the potential to either do good or harm.  

Think of it as being a drop of water in a vast lake, seemingly insignificant, yet capable of producing ripples with every single tiny movement.   

I'm reminded of one of the scenes from the movie Evan Almighty (which sadly, I just saw this past weekend).  Evan (Steve Carell) asked God (Morgan Freeman) how he can change the world and God told Evan that it all starts with him...with one Act of Random Kindness (ARK) at a time.  

None of us need arks or some grand miracle to manifest itself before us for the world to change and be saved.  It starts with us, our actions, thoughts and intentions.  It starts within us.  Just as the world needs saving (to which we can all contribute as powerful and motivated little ripples in the vast lake), our respective selves need saving as well.  We start with our self.  For you can't really be capable of any act of kindness towards the world, if you deprive yourself of that same kindness, care and high regard.  It is utterly naive to think that nurturing oneself is easy and inconsequential because it's probably one of the most difficult projects one can ever take on.  Most of the time, I find my own mind and heart to be more resistant to change compared to others', in the same way that it's easier to solve other people's problems than attend to my own.   

The 'self project' is no easy task.  My blogging has been anything BUT easy and painless. With every entry, I put myself out there.  And with some entries, I am forced to confront personal demons, ask questions I've been denying and let myself loose in some dark, uncharted labyrinth in my mind.  It does not financially reward me and it demands a lot of time.  But it enriches me.  With every word I type, I affirm my sense of self.  With every published entry, I release some hope that somewhere, someone will be nurtured as well.  I am but a tiny drop in the world wide web but I know that with every word released comes with it the responsibility of either nurturing or hurting someone, whether it's me or another reader.  Things CAN go awfully wrong, just as they can lead to happy roads ahead.

I will probably never be completely free of my doubts with regard to the value of what I do as a blogger.  I will probably never earn much from this and I will probably never achieve the same amount of popularity and readership as the other bloggers out there have.  But friends and readers who urge me on make me see how powerful an ARK really is.  You make me realize how my writing is truly an act of kindness towards my self, my soul.  As I hope to continue practicing kindness towards my self and sanity, I also hope to be a source of positivity, clarity, entertainment and most of all, kindness, to some of you.

Have you done an act of kindness towards your SELF lately?


  1. Joy
    there was so much of what you said in your blog that I know will definitely touch any reader. First stop, dont think of other people when you do your blog - or at least thats my thinking. I said to myself, this blog is for me and my family in the future. You made this blog to journal the things that happen in your life - in your family and that is the most important thing. I said to myself that one day (God forbid) if I get inflicted with a sickness that will rob me of my memories, at least my blog will remind me of life's journey that I've been thru and all those milestones from my kids and the happy times that we share. I dont care if no one reads it - as long as i express what I want to say and when my kids grow up they can hopefully appreciate what I have done - a journal of our lives. And stop stressing out the technical part of blogging, do that only if it will make you happy afterwards... what counts are the words that you compose ... and for your question if someone reads it... I DO, in fact I subscribed to it that every time you have a post, it goes straight to our email. I love your eloquent post and sometimes I wish I can be like you, but alas, being a full time mum makes my vocabulary limited to those under 3 hahaha... but nonetheless, I get rejuvenated when I make posts no matter how short they are ... so cheer up and dont bash yourself that hard --- you are doing well.

    Take care and hugs always

  2. 7/11/10 7:03

    Joy, what you do DOES matter! You give people like me a platform to: get to know you better: share our thoughts and feelings; realize we are not alone; and learn from each other. It is obvious that you put much effort into blogging and its greatly appreciated!


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