Friday, July 23, 2010

Fortune Friday 7.23.10: Collateral Damage

“An angry man opens his mouth and shuts up his eyes.”

Truth be told, I feel awful right now, physically that is.  I have the cold and am running a fever too so let me make this one brief.  The bed, couch, floor or anything I can be horizontal on beckons.

I don't really have a bad temper but when I get pushed, I do push back and am capable of exploding.  Sadly, the person who's always with me these days is Noah.  When he 'tests my patience' and I reach the end of the rope, I scream!....at him. It seems to be the natural thing to do when a parent finds that her/his child is not listening.  The volume just goes up until I'm able to snap him out of what ever he's doing.  In the heat of things, my exasperation consumes me until I shout at him and let it all out.  It may relieve me of the internal pressure I'm experiencing and it's just so easy to walk away after I get him to behave the way I want him to, but what I always have to remind myself is that I need to check on Noah....see how he is, explain things to him and even ask and consider how he ends up feeling.  

When we are consumed with anger, it's so easy to let it out without consideration of the casualties.  But especially where it concerns a child, you cannot afford to just shut your eyes and walk away.  More importantly, perhaps if we just open our eyes more and see, really see, then there may be no need for such explosive anger to begin with?  

Isn't it that, for the most part, anger wins when we don't step back and see the bigger picture that confronts us?  If we are honest with ourselves, we will realize that there are VERY FEW things in this life worth losing our temper over....really.

How about you?  When was the last time you lost it?  What was the casualty like?

2 comments:

  1. life is indeed a daily battle and everyday brings its own stress no matter how much effort you put to control yourself and not to blow your top off especially in front of a child but we are just humans with it comes our imperfections ... dont worry you are not the only one - we are mums and with all the gigantoum tasks that we need to fulfill all day, there's only so much that we can do ... mine just happened this evening during mealtime when mrtwo would rather watch the telly than chew his food despite the compromise of "you can watch telly but finish your dinner quickly" - the food stays in his mouth for minutes on ... and with another bub to feed and only two hands to do multiple task - smoke comes popping out of my ears hahaha ... dont bash yourself too hard, we all do that hahahah

    jigi

    ReplyDelete
  2. 9:43pm July 23,2010 (via FB)

    When i have outbursts as a reaction to what Bella does (or does not do), I feel so so so guilty afterwards. I realize that i need time away from her because being together day-in and day-out causes some sort of cabin fever for me... giving myself a little breathing room calms my nerves and replenishes my patience...

    Funny thing is that Bella doesnt seem to get the whole "angry" business. When my voice crescendos while asking her to stop doing whatever she is doing since it may put her in danger, she calmly says "yes" and stops.... sometimes though, i need to physically tug at her to stop whatever she is doing, but she does stop, and rarely with a tantrum...so im either not good at being angry, not convincing enough for Bella's standards, or Bella is simply a calm person (which means that she takes after her father.) :-)

    ReplyDelete

Let me know your thoughts!