Undeniably Smitten

I have a big crush.  I had completely forgotten how it felt to be so drawn to something that you can’t let go of the idea of possessing it and become so consumed by it.  


He is tall, dark (bronzy), and, well...faceless.  He spoke to me as I was roaming the aisles of a home furnishings store.  

I’m not a ‘shopper’.  I do it occasionally but when I do, I always make sure I have a purpose.  There’s normally a need in mind, whether it’s an outfit or room accessories.  (Yes, I know...Using the word ‘need’ with the words ‘outfit’, and ‘accessories’ in one sentence just seems off.  Please pardon the incongruence).  When shopping, I feel most efficient when I am alone.  This way, I can spend as little or as much time as I need, without feeling like I’m inconveniencing someone else.  I can be very anal about selecting my items so shopping alone saves me the feeling of being judged or made fun of….(talk about being paranoid!)  I can stare at an item for an unbelievably long time, have an entire debate go on in my head as I look at an item.  Tilt my head, squint my eyes, twist my lips.  If you saw me, you’d know how much I’m dissecting something that does not really need that much analysis.  Suffice it to say, that I spent an obscene amount of time staring and dissecting every inch of my crush at the store where I found him.

Maybe I shop like this because I’m cerebral?  Or maybe I shop like this because I grew up in a country where returning merchandise is not part of the culture.  After migrating here to the States, it took me a while to get accustomed to the idea that items bought can just easily be returned.  I still don’t like returning merchandise after I’ve gone through the effort of buying them.  I hate it.  I like the idea of it, the freedom it gives me as a buyer and the possible neurosis it saves me knowing that I can make a mistake and undo it.  But I also hate how such a practice potentially breeds groups of noncommittal buyers; how it could breed laziness and carelessness with shopping since you know you can make mistakes or simply change your mind and return your stuff.  (I’m overthinking this again, am I not?)

I’m digressing so let me go back….

The man on a bicycle.  There is something about him that draws me in and just won't release me.  Something about him inspires and fascinates me.  I just can’t stop staring at him, wanting to feel every groove.  I’m enthralled by him, completely mystified.   He is far from perfect, with some chips here and there.  Yet I knew I had to have him.  I tried being rational, convincing myself I should not waste my time and resources on something imperfect right from the get go.  


But I felt powerless and found myself unable to resist the need to possess, and suddenly very able to forgive all his flaws.  It was bound to happen.  This man on the bicycle knew my weakness.  He looked interesting, almost poetic.  One of a kind (at least on the shelf where we met, although I know there’s probably at least a hundred of him in China where he came from).  Alien to me (I’ve never seen anything like him my entire life!).  From the moment I laid eyes on him, even more so when I touched him, I knew I was completely charmed. 

Even the shadow he casts enchants me...

I did my best to free myself.  I put him down and actually walked away.  But I only made it to up to two feet away and once again found my feet pulling me back to where he was.  I shuddered at the thought of seeing someone else have him and in no time, convinced myself that I will never find him anywhere else again and that if I went home without him, I’d only be haunted by his image and punish myself for letting him go when I already had him in my hands….for such a great price!!

So I took him home proudly and set him on my office table for me to look at every single day.  As I am typing this, he is to my right, and he continues to make me smile with every glance I give him.  


Like I said, I know better than to think of him as perfection.  When I took him from the shelf, I noticed his defects but thought they added to the mystery.  I searched online to look for a 'perfect version' of him and found this.  For about five seconds, I felt a tinge of disappointment, but very quickly, I bounced back and thought that I really do like him the way he is, riding solitarily.  To be honest, I don't think I would've taken him home with me had I found him in his original state.  

But I know soon it will come…that moment when I open my eyes one day and feel no sense of mystery about it; when I feel that I have it all figured out.  Boredom.  When that sense of ordinariness creeps in and I will no longer feel drawn to him and all sense of novelty has dissipated.  Isn’t this how all infatuations end?...unless of course unknowingly, I have already


 completely 


fallen


in love....

Weekend Haiku: In Denial

Get To Know KONY and Get With the Program!

For so many days now, I couldn't quite figure out what to write about.  I kept looking for topics in my head, in my daily life, but at the same time wanted something that would stay true to my voice, my self, while remaining substantial, meaningful and worthwhile.  

This morning, I have found it.  And I am sharing this with you with such great hopes that you would do your part as well.  It does not matter how, where or how much but please do something.  This is about the KONY 2012 campaign. Kony is not a US Presidential candidate.  He is a war criminal who abducts and terrorizes children to make them part of his army and do his dirty work of killing civilians.  No, he is not in the U.S. and if you are reading this blog right now, most likely, he is not in your country either.  But that should NOT make a difference.  You are part of humanity....the same humanity Joseph Kony is hurting.  You are already involved and to think otherwise, to think this does not affect you, is complete ignorance.  

I promise you that watching this featured video below will be one the most worthwhile 30 minutes of your life.  It is impossible not to be moved emotionally, mentally, spiritually.  All the information you need will be in this video and suggestions for action are clearly outlined as well.  (On the website, I thought it was quite cool that I was able to Tweet celebrities!)  Please do not fast forward or skip any part of it as each second is significant.  And remember...YOU are significant.  YOU are in a sphere where you have power to change things, wherever you are, whatever it is you do.  I am active in social media and I am a blogger.  This is my medium.  If I found a way to get involved, so can YOU.

 'Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever does.' ---Margaret Mead  

Weekend Haiku: Roadtrip

Political Correctness On Steroids

I consider myself a sensitive person.  Certainly not too sensitive, but sensitive enough to know when someone is trying to insult or diminish me.  However, anyone who knows me would attest to the fact that I am also not an adversarial person, and that if anything, I give some people too much of a benefit of the doubt to a fault. 

So what am I trying to get at?  I’m saying here that if someone said anything offensive to me, I would definitely be one who could detect it.  I may not react, but I would definitely know it.

***

Now here’s the thing.  Say, you were at a play lot with your preschooler and one of the moms your child plays with blurts out, “Wow, your daughter is tall.  She’s really growing up so fast!”  Would you take offense?

Well, a friend of mine happens to be the one who made the remark and guess what she got for what she said?...a reprimand from the other mom, labeling her spontaneous and might I add, innocent remark, a form of harassment and even bullying.  According to the other mom, what my friend said could potentially make her daughter feel self-conscious and that such comments about the child’s height highlights a difference and is therefore politically incorrect.

I don’t always understand everything that happens in this world but last time I checked, bullying has everything to do with intent.  It’s intended to instill a sense of power imbalance and therefore it aims to intimidate.  It also involves aggressive behavior and negative actions and/or derogatory remarks.  As for political incorrectness, an act has to have the intent to marginalize and promote intolerance to fall under this category.  Mere acknowledgement of differences does not make someone politically incorrect precisely because political correctness is about promoting plurality or acceptance of the existence of such differences. 

I don’t know how commenting on a child being tall could be construed as harassment, bullying and politically incorrect when (1) being tall is generally accepted as an asset, a desired or valued trait in most, if not all, societies; and (2) there was clearly no malicious intent when the observation was made. 

I’m a liberal and am all for political correctness.  But it frustrates me when people invoke political correctness so quickly that they forget about common sense.  Claiming any statement that talks of any sort of difference as ‘politically incorrect’ is simply neurotic to say the least.  Would this mom still be so upset if someone remarked, “Your daughter is so smart and so advanced”?  If she were not a hypocrite, she should feel offended just the same.  Either way, she’s still neurotic in my books.  I feel sorry for her daughter.  Maybe this parent does not realize that by prohibiting anyone around them to say anything that highlights any trait that sets her daughter apart, she is also diminishing her daughter’s humanity.  Sure, she may think that she’s protecting her daughter from insults, but she could also be depriving her daughter from fully realizing her uniqueness and ‘special-ness’.  She’s also not giving the child the opportunity to learn how to discern which comments are objectively harmful, and which ones are merely supportive.  I believe in active and involved parenting.  But I know when something is just too much and when a parent just needs to get over herself/himself and get a life.

I’d like to hear your thoughts on this.  How would you have responded to the situation?

***Photo credit: flickr.com Creative Commons