Monday, December 17, 2018

Monday Motivation: Shifts


It's a word that can trigger much discomfort and one most of us would shy away from. But the more I stare at this word, the more I'm fascinated by it. It implies both a graceful subtlety and mysterious potential that I find it quite poetic. It's certainly not as daunting as 'upheaval', or as blunt as 'change'. And because it's such a gentle word, one that might even allude to imperceptibility, I think it's something that's easier for us to embrace and be open to.

I feel shifts all around me these days, more so than before. Some of these are self-initiated, while others are birthed by events forced upon me. Whatever their origins, any shifting occurring outside of me have necessitated a corresponding internal shift as well. It is a basic law of motion after all, isn't it? Everything stays in a uniform state or motion until acted upon by a force that compels it to change that state. 

We're always shifting. 

From one too naive, believing that the value she gave to relationships endows them with permanence, to one wiser and more humble, accepting that nothing is permanent.

From one who thought being nice appeases everyone, to one who now realizes being honest offers a more genuine peace. 

From one who valued tenacity at all cost, to one who's learned that sometimes there is value in giving up, and that there is honor in letting go. 

From one who believed shifts are to be feared, to one who is reminded that the breathtaking mountains we see on earth all came to be because of endless shifts and violent changes. Beauty takes time and it will happen, but only if we allow the shifts to unfold. 

Monday, November 26, 2018

Monday Motivation: How Do I Move On?

I've had my share of heartbreaks, one of which made a scar so deep it reshaped me in significant ways. And I'm grateful for it and don't regret anything about it. After all, anyone who has loved has had their heart broken one way or another.

A question I hear often, and one that took me years to answer is this: How do you move on?

The answer is quite simple, but it's not easy. Even I had such resistance to it when it first dawned on me. However, once you accept it and are willing to do the hard work required, I promise you will experience the liberation and growth you truly deserve. 

You move on by knowing in your heart and truly accepting that you deserve something else, something or someone better. 

The clinging and the holding on are reflections of your belief that you are not worthy of someone or something else; that you have lost that which was perfect or perfectly-suited for you. We cling because we are choosing to believe that the happiness we felt was a fluke, a once in a lifetime cosmic event that can never be experienced any other way and with any other person. We keep holding on to a past love or relationship because we believe that there is scarcity of love and good, and that our past is what we fully deserve. These are false beliefs and ones that are spoken by a wounded 'self' filled with fear. 

But to move on, you need honesty to accept that you deserve something else than what has already ended. Be honest in your post-mortem. Don't dismiss any gut feel or red flag you might have noticed but chose to sweep under the rug. Remove all blinders and challenge all illusion, and I guarantee that you will see truth more clearly: that you deserve better; that love and good are not scarce; and that your sense of worth is what truly needs your attention right now.

Wednesday, November 14, 2018

Wednesday Wisdom: Happiness and Forgiving Oneself

An old friend of mine shared this quote recently and it resonated so much with me that I've decided to share it today. These truly are wise words, for we can never let happiness in if we are so filled with regrets and resentments, especially towards our own selves. 

Happiness is there, but only if we allow ourselves to see it.

Monday, October 15, 2018

Monday Motivation: Fall Into Healing

I had an interesting dream last night, the kind that gave me a feeling which I wanted to stay with me way after I had woken up. More than the images or characters in my dream, it was the message that struck me. I actually woke myself from the dream because I sleep-talked. I remember that the word that unconsciously left my lips was 'healing'. I caught myself actually saying it and hoped I didn't wake my husband up. 

I still need to figure out the significance of my dream and that word, but in the meantime, I'd like to take this opportunity to invite you to reflect on the Fall season and how we can transition with it. 

Perhaps as we watch the trees gently shed their leaves, we can also look within and think of what we need to shed or let go of, in order to prepare for a fresher start. 

Perhaps being surrounded by trees engaged in the act of self-preservation and preparing for the future serves as an inspiration to us so that we may tend to our own wounds in order to find ourselves more whole again, wiser and more equipped for the seasons ahead. What may feel and seem like death is actually a necessary process for survival and renewal. 

I know I have wounds and pains that need to be heard, baggage to be unloaded. The journey to confronting them is far from simple and light. But the trees are showing me that the choice is clear. Letting go may be painful, but sometimes you'd be surprised at the beauty and richness this process brings.